Well, here I am again. About to confess to you how the Lord has once again opened my eyes to my shortcomings. I choose to be vunerable because I want someone, anyone to avoid the pitfalls that I find myself in as I walk this pilgrimage called the Christian life. You are probably thinking...this woman is a mess...I agree..but I am the Lord's mess and I'm secure in knowing He loves me and if I allow Him to..he specializes in making good things out of big messes!
Are you a people pleaser? Oh girls!...I know I am! I always have been. I wanted to please my parents when I was younger, wanted to please my friends, wanted to please my supervisors over the years....just want people to be pleased with me. I don't like...no, I HATE feeling like someone is disappointed with me. It took me many, many years to learn to say "no." At one point early in my Christian life I held 13 responsibilities in our local church...uh, yeah...13!!! Why?...I didn't want to let anyone down. I really have made great strides in that area and I pray and only do those things I think God is leading me to do in the church, but I have been hit in the face with a different creature.
The past 6 months I have completely thrown myself into pleasing an individual. I have prayed for them, loved them with my whole heart, sacrificed my time, my energy, my money and even other relationships to make sure this individual was taken care of and happy...pleased if you will. I absolutely love this person and feel that God brought them to my life for me to love them and most of all point them to Himself. But somewhere along the line I allowed the situation to become my life! I would find myself worrying all the time about this person and if I was making everyone "happy". But it hit me today as I did my devotion....All those months of trying to make people happy....I never once asked God if I was making Him happy. Wow...how could that be? How could I move God from that place of preeminence and replace Him with a mere human? I don't know. I just am confessing I did...and I did it without even realizing it. 1 John 3:22 "And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight." Pleasing in HIS sight...that is what matters. The order of priorities got out of whack in my life. It was Family, God, Job. Upon realizing that I couldn't help but cry..."I'm sorry Lord!" God gave me my family...but He didn't give them to me to place them before Him. He is to be preeminent in our lives.
God reminded me of this verse as well 1 Thessalonians 2:4 "But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel even so we speak not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts." How freeing! The world is trying to give me a whole list of people that I need to please but it is a lie! There is only one I have to please and that is the Lord Jesus. If I please Him, then I will please those that have their hearts right and the rest...well, that's between them and the Lord. He is much better at handling them than I. My family absolutely is THE most important thing on earth to me but I must put the giver of all perfect gifts before them. I want to love them and do for them as He instructs...not as they expect, or not as others opinions say I should. It is amazing to me how the enemy can even use good things to derail your fellowship with God. Nothing I've done over the past 6 months was bad, no, actually people have commented on how "selfless" I was...but in fact, self was getting in the way of fellowship with my Savior. I was bending over backward to please others so that "self" would feel better. But it was only for fleeting moments. However, when I put my Savior first....it is a joy and peace that cannot be described. How do I know?....I've had it today since I confessed my sin and asked Him to redirect my energies to pleasing Him and allowing Him to tell me what to do and not a thing more.
I can't help but think of the song by John Wyeth wrote in the 1700's Come thy Fount. The 3rd verse says "O to grace how great a debtor, Daily I'm constrained to be! Let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee: Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above." John Wyeth knew his heart was prone to wander...we'd be wise to acknowledge the same. I am so thankful for God's grace and mercy...it is new every morning. I am clean girls! I am forgiven. Perfect?....No...Never to fail again.....No. But right now I am enjoying snuggling up in the arms of my Savior and having a heart that is worshipping Him!
There is a song that we sang and worshipped to at Women of Faith this year that Mandesa sang, originally by Mary Mary. Here are a few of the words from the chorus
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I'm gonna praise you
I'm gonna praise you
The chains are gone...excuse me ladies...I have some dancing to do! :)
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